I am about to embark upon a journey that simultaneously scares the shit out of me and excites me to my core. A month long adventure, to a country in which I don’t speak the language, don’t know much about the culture or its inner workings, its architecture or foundation.
So, why? I choose this freely to help me understand the world, how it works outside of my comfort zone (and believe me, I have created a lovely little world with all the comforts I need here). To experience a new me.
I have been fortunate to experience travel to many parts of the world, yet there are many more in which to delve and explore. My trips have been just that; trips. Vacations. Just when I would drop into the feel of a place, time to go. Never immersions. I would skim the surface of what could be so much more. My greed for experience is honest; I don’t deny nor hide it. I thrive on experience out of my comfort zone. It’s like a gateway drug…the need to escalate experiences is my form of addiction. As an artist, I set goals and challenges and work myself into a corner merely to see if I can find my way out. And its worked more times than not. In travel, it’s been weekend here, a week there, a two week journey then maybe three traveling throughout an area. But four weeks in one place to really experience another existence? To find out if I can hang? To find out how enterprising I am? How creative I can be? Nope, not until now.
So now I ALLOW. I allow myself the freedom and luxury to travel to a city full of culture, architecture, creativity, history. San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. Time to learn Spanish. time to learn how to really cook real Mexican food. Time to understand a culture that many Americans disparage from ignorance.
I ALLOW myself to be vulnerable, to become intimate in the world. I have seen it positively impact my personal relationships as well. If you want to be intimate, you simply must be vulnerable. I tell people I love them, tell them they are valuable to me, that our relationship matters. And each and every time, I have been met with the same kind of vulnerability.
The urge was so great inside me to set upon this adventure that I simply could not ignore it anymore. Am I scared? Nervous? Anxious? Hell yes I am! But what would scare me more is not doing it. And I travel solo to learn more about myself; what I’m made of, how I will work myself out of a corner in a city I don’t know.
I am well aware that I am far from the only person who has done this; I am not seeking applause for this decision, or to be told how adventurous or brave or whatever I am for this. I share this because I hope to encourage others with similar desires to move forward. When people ask me why I am doing this, I simply respond with “Why not?” And “why not now?” When else is there?
I just want to take a big bite out of life, and I do that by allowing.